Tonight I came home from work EXHAUSTED. I made a gourmet dinner of cheese melted inside a tortilla for everyone (and a glass of cranberry juice just for fanciness) and then, proud of my efforts - crawled into bed at 6 pm. I laid with my precious son's feet at my face and my lovely daughter nestled up beside me and I zonked out. I woke up three hours later after this lovely nap with my son's feet still in my face, my daughter had been carried off to bed and I shared turns conversing with my awesome nephew and my superb husband.
I immersed myself in the news, following the devastation that occurred in Moore, Oklahoma today with the tornado. I felt like I was watching a movie.....that same sense of detachment I felt while watching the media coverage of 911 or of the Oklahoma City bombings. Is this really real? The rawness of the tragedy is incomprehensible.
I called one of my tender hearted and beautiful nieces. She has just begun her externship as a nurse and is in Moore. First, I was relieved to hear her sweet voice and know she is safe. Next, I heard the brokenness in her bravery and my heart broke a little bit more. My niece was in a cellar with her boyfriend's grandparents. The tornado was a mile away from them so she could hear it's monstrosity from the cellar, but thank God, they were safe. After she was able to get out of the cellar, she went to one of the two elementary schools that were hit by the tornado. I listened as she shared how it felt to drive through 10 miles of flattened homes, nothingness where there had been somethings hours earlier, death, injury and the lifeless bodies of first and second graders that passed through her hands. All of a sudden, the feet in my face held more meaning to me than in a long time. Her boyfriend is going to school to be a PA and is working in Ardmore. When he got home, he and maybe she were going back out to volunteer their medical services. I know nothing can prepare your heart for these tragedies so please pray for them and all others involved.
In the last week I have seen a Momma living in fear choose something different and show great courage in seeking help to get out of a violent situation and protect her babies, she had to move forward without any knowledge of what would happen. I have watched my own Momma care for my Daddy and love him through some really hard times. I have seen my husband continue to fight and do hard even when it's not popular. I have seen my brother in law weep for his critically ill Father. I have felt life being lived....the heaviness and beauty of it all.
Tonight, I think of the many hours I have spent in anxiety, begging God to let me live, let me have long life, promise me promises to things nobody knows. And I am struck that all along, God has given me life, told me to live it, promised me eternal life and fulfilled promises I didn't even know to ask for. I am so blessed. My moments are precious. Your moments are precious. I HATE the devastation this tornado has caused. It hurts, no doubt. All I can do is take this moment to weep for the losses and rejoice life still....there is purpose to be filled.