Sunday, August 17, 2014

My hearts prayer


Dearest God,

I give you this school year.  I give you these times.  They seem so very daunting.  I know there is so much more to be done and only one of me.  My notions of what I can accomplish in two days are unrealistic and it is my human inclination to pile one task upon another until I am so overwhelmed there will not be success no matter how much I do.  So, Lord, can I just give my time to you?  I will be the hands and feet if you will just direct my path.  Can you help me still my busy mind and will you please grant peace to my chaotic heart?

I give you my babies....John and Stella...okay, I give you your babies and I thank you for the gift they are in my life.  The smiles, the laughter, the sunshine, the screaming, the tears, the attitudes, the scared feelings that I get when I think I am ruining them, the sacred souls that they are....I hand them back to you.  Please cover them with your love and God, please, please let them walk in the light.  I ask that you surround them with those who know you until they are strong in their faith...and then let them surround those that need to know you.  These children, they teach me so much more about life and myself than I ever knew; help me be the best Momma to them I can be.  Help me help them love you.

I give you my beautiful nieces and nephews....the originals and the greats.  They have blessed my life and they make it richer every day.  Walk with them, hold them when they need held and let them see you BIG.  These are my first and last babies God, and I treasure them and thank you for them daily.
They are young people, some with old souls, some fresh and innocent, some with hurting and wounded hearts.  Care for them and show them how to care for others as you would.

I give you my brothers and my sisters.  These people that I share the greatest similarities and the greatest differences with make my world a better place.  They have known my joys and my sorrows, and I have known theirs.  Let us love each other fully, know each other deeply and remain united always.  I love these precious hearts and am grateful for all they have taught/teach me.  There is no love like theirs.

I pray for my Auntie.  I love her very much.  She always knows when a heart is hurting and I know her own heart has ached since my Uncle died.  I don't even know what to ask God.  Hold her always, love her earnestly.  Surround her with love, always.

I give you my precious Momma and sweet Daddy.  Help me care for them as they have cared for me. Help me treat them with the dignity and respect that they truly deserve.  Sometimes, I am tired and my Momma especially gets the icky of me, help me work on that.  God, these times are tough.  I need to know that you are holding my Daddy in your arms through his disease and that you are loving my Momma in the most beautiful of ways.  Show my Momma her beauty and strength.  Help her know how much she is cherished by us and by you.

I give you my marriage.  You know God, this one is tough.  Last year was ugly and now you are blessing us with the restoration I prayed for.  Let us help continue rebuilding and help us be that couple that truly can say how much stronger we were after the infidelity.  I love Nathan.  He is my heart.  Help me unclench my fists and hand him over to you.  (Funny...I know you already have him, so my holding on is useless).  Pursue his heart in a way that he knows with his eyes, with his ears, with his heart and with his feelings that YOU ARE REAL and that you always have and always will love him. Help me trust, help me let go and let YOU!   God, I know you have a plan for us and I trust we didn't go through muck for nothing.  Let us be the light.  Let us tell our story where it counts.  Let us be your vessels of healing.  Please.

I give you my friends and I give you my non friends.  I mention them together because I know we are all your kids and you love us all the same.  I thank you for each of their presences in my life.  Even when I wished they weren't ever in my life, you had a purpose and for that I will be forever thankful.  Help me be a friend who very clearly is walking with you God, and help me show others your love, light and joy.  For my non friends.....frenemies.....enemies.....they are your treasure too God.  Help me remember that everyone deserves to be reconciled to you, this does not equate with me having to reconcile with everyone.  Help me live out forgiveness, mercy and grace and help me ask for it when I need it.

Lastly God, I give you those walking in your light and joy.  That they may be thankful for you always.  I pray for those hurting and wounded hearts that feel like there is no hope.  Show them hope God, show them love.

Thank you for listening God.  Thank you for loving me.  It's ALL in your hands.

In Jesus name I gratefully pray,



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