Wednesday, November 28, 2012

This season

Update...I don't know what's happened the last few days but my Daddy's dementia seems suddenly worse.  It's like he's had an awakening in a different world and it hit him that something is very wrong.  I admire my Momma so but I know both of their hearts are breaking and I can do nothing to stop or change this process.

Our home is in such flux and crazy messy - still not knowing what's happening with our contractors and our home is so stressful.

 Nathan has the crud right now....blech.

Lastly, (and hopefully?), it seems I may be working full time very soon.  Changes galore!

I am diligently making efforts to find a balance between staying connected and as not to sit on the sidelines as a spectator.  I feel like I'm riding a teeter totter with no one on the other side and although I know all we have is this moment, I am so afraid.  I don't feel lonely but I do feel alone. 

I guess the result of is that I snuggle into God's lap a little deeper without retreating from life.  I snuggle our beautiful babies, run my hands deep into our fur babies fur, don't miss an opportunity to say I love you, breathe in the crispy air and move forward while staying here.  I know how very blessed I am, but boy does my heart ache.

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