Monday, September 16, 2013


I must become less so He can become more.  My heart's burning desire.

It was brought to my attention today that this extends into life more than I ever realized.  "That which we focus on becomes larger."  Simple concept, right?  Hard to live bet. 

What have I been feeding myself lately (besides Halloween oreos and pumpkin spice lattes...those don't count.)  Here's a little sampler of the menu I have been serving right up to me on a daily basis....
  • I am invisible.  I am small.  I must shrink down. 
  • I am ashamed.  I cannot do this.  I am helpless.
  • I am alone.  I am insignificant.  I am unlovable.
  • I am undesireable.  I am unworthy.
Wow! Wow. wow. wow.   This is the toxic fantasy that I have been living out lately.  Those thoughts are what I have been focusing on and they have become larger than life itself.  I have let these lies become my feelings and I have let these feelings become my life and I have given up my option to think and make a choice about what is real and who I really am. 

What do I want?  I want to feel and think TALL.  What does TALL look like?  TALL is beautiful with or without makeup.  Her beauty begins inside and extends outward.  TALL enters the room and she doesn't take survey of everyone in it before she smiles and feels at ease with who she is, nor does she seek out the safest looking person in the room to latch onto.  TALL believes the truth she knows about who God made her to be, and TALL is amazing.  Simply because she is.

Who is Sarah?  I have begun to lose sight of that lately as I have played these tapes over and over in my heart and mind.  In addition to those, add in all the very real sorrows in life right now and I have shrunken so small I have disappeared right before my very own eyes.  So...who is Sarah?  Sarah is a brave, worthy, loved by God, truly happy, whimsical woman.  She is whole and surrendered and basking in the warmth of God's sunshine.  She is an engaged and trusting Momma with the heart of a child....and Sarah is becoming TALL.    This is the reality I am going to focus on.  Despite what goes on around me, these are who God made me to be.  I'm learning to give myself grace.  I give myself some...but I am pretty stingy with it.  I am praying for heaps and gobs of grace to flow over and in my heart. 

I got the gift of being reminded today.  I have been feeding the fantasy when truly, the reality is so much better.

God bless and g'night.

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