There is so very much I want to say. Countless words written on my heart that I long to share but I know deep inside of me that it's just not time yet. There will be a time. A time when Nathan and I will share our journey out loud for all to hear. A time when we will share how these sad times strengthened us somehow. I truly believe this. It has always been and will always be my prayer that our story is used to help others and to glorify the power of God. So....here we are, with some excellent content to add to our story and the opportunity to deepen the love in our legacy.
Right now we are mending brokenness. We are smack in the middle of restoration and healing....what a process it is. What a beautifully ugly process. I earnestly plea for your continued prayers. Nothing about life is 'easy' right now, and that's just the way it is. I am learning to look up, look in and reach out more than is in my comfort zone for sure. Some days...strength, grace and peace abound. Even on those days, unfortunate memories creep in and try to steal what is becoming with what was. Alas, I am reminded, WE ARE HERE. HE IS IN CHARGE. The past is exactly that, past, and the present is our gift. What will we do with it?
My Daddy's days are getting rougher and rougher. It is almost the time that I didn't want to come. I love he and my Momma; it's a desperate feeling to know there is no earthly power to stop the progression of this terrible disease.. I am so sad and I am grasping for the lovely here. It is there, again, in words I am not ready to share. Alzheimer's - MEAN.
Sometimes I spend too much energy soaking in the fear. When I come to my senses, I picture myself snuggled up on God's lap. Held. I'm held. We are held.
With that sweet thought...may angels sing around us all as we slumber tonight.